Prince

Sheila E is badass. She plays drums like an animal, wears 4 outfits in one concert, and looks like she's 35. Meanwhile, she's 54.  Sheila plays with Prince. Who i didn't know was SO incredible until tonight. I didn't realize how large his repertoire is. He created so many hits! The passion, sexiness, lust for life. Overwhelming.

These people make me want to live. At a time when i feel challenged to my core - training for this marathon, struggling with health, and keeping it together in relationship - I admire those who can let their inhibitions go. Not think about the past or future. Love like they will die tomorrow, like they’ve never been hurt. Letting go like that is a skill. Or maybe it’s just about letting it go.  I'm finding the more I love, the more I want to grasp tight.  The thing is – this is not what we want.  We want that challenge. The impossible. What’s not available. Right?

Thinking about this makes me wonder if we have evolved too far. Developed past pure survival into our heads.  I would much rather primally kick a nasty dude on the street who turns around 180 to stare at my butt as I run by.  Old dudes.  Several.  Instead, I politely give them dirty looks and keep running. The battle for my body feels constant.  But what if I just kicked them?  Would they beat me up? Be embarrassed?  Change their practice?

My new meditation is running.  I have learned so much from training, heard endless wisdom from elders trotting by my side. Running 20 miles in the rain is humbling. Getting through it.  Finishing it devastatingly tired.  Working with a partner in those times.  Women are tough.  But so soft at the same time. I don’t quite know where I fit into it all…

Maybe Prince can help sort it all out?