The Tale of Abu Kassem

Here's an excerpt from a wonderful book, Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese.  This metaphor stands particularly true in my relationship, where self-reflection is so important.  Holding, letting go, giving, asking for support, the zen of love is not to be underestimated...

'In prison, lights were out by eight o'clock.  We'd each tell a story.  That was our entertainment.  One of my cell mates, a merchant, Tawfiq - he would tell the Abu Kassem story.

It was a tale well known to children all over Africa: Abu Kassem, a miserly Baghdad merchant, had held on to his battered, much repaired pair of slippers even though they were objects of derision.  At last, even he couldn't stomach the sight of them. 

But his every attempt to get rid of his slippers ended in disaster: when he tossed them out of his window they landed on the head of a pregnant woman who miscarried, and Abu Kassem was thrown in jail; when he dropped them in the canal, the slippers choked off the main drain and caused flooding, and off Abu Kassem went to jail...

One night, when Tawfiq finished, another prisoner, a quiet dignified old man, said, 'Abu Kassem might as well build a special room for his slippers.  Why try to lose them?  He'll never escape.'  The old man laughed, and he seemed happy when he said that.  That night the old man died in his sleep.

The old man was right.  The key to your happiness is to own your slippers, own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don't.  If you keep saying your slippers aren't yours, then you'll die searching, you'll die bitter, always feeling you were promised more.  Not only our actions, but also our omissions, become our destiny.'

 Here is a picture of me and my love, forgetting our slippers for a while.